Acrosticdoublespeak

Mr. Rumsfeld's Jihad, Part IV

2005-03-21T18:10:00.000-08:00

What Branch of the US Military Will Dispose of Iran's Nuclear Potential:

Iran Specialists Represented as America's Elite League of Intelligence Servicemen.

Pupique and his Discontents, Part IV

2005-03-20T19:06:00.000-08:00

Urgent News Story Carried by Major Newspapers:

Militant Islam's Conception that this Holy Alliance Engage in Long-term Jihad Against the Community Known Subjectively and Objectively as Non-Muslim.

Modern Athletes' Inner Source of Strength:

Spiritual Tendecies and Essential Religious Orientation Inherent in the Depths of the Soul.

Pupique and His Discontents, Part III

2005-03-09T15:05:00.000-08:00

The Future of President Bush's Social Security Proposal--

Income Complementation and Enhancement, Bureaucratically Enacted by Regulatory Governmental Services

Mr. Rumsfeld's Jihad, Part III

2005-03-07T06:43:00.000-08:00

Syria's Perception of Lebanon--

Semi-autonomous Yet Regionally Independent Area

Syria's Perception of the Future Palestinian State--

Semi-autonomous Yet Regionally Independent Area

Iran's Peaceful Nuclear Program--

Modernization of Iran's Scientifically Sophisticated Infrastructurally-Linked Energy System

Pupique and His Discontents, Part II

2005-03-02T08:25:00.000-08:00

The Cause of Prince Harry's Donning a Nazi Armband--

Resulting from an Obviously Youthful and Artfully Laddish Indiscretion, Naturally Born out of Ribaldry and an Effusive Ebullience, Definitely Indicative of the Neo-contemporary Generation.

The Presence in the White House of a Male Prostitute/ Journalist is--

Critically Linked to an Ideology Notably Typified by Overt, Notoriously Erotic Related Activities.

The USA is not Controlled by Mullahs because our--

Liberal Observance of the Bill-of-rights Bans the Inclusion of Extremist Sorts.

Mr. Rumsfeld's Jihad, Part II

2005-03-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

Restructuring of the Intelligence/ Defense Community--

The Neo-contemporary Execution of the War Fought for the Liberation of Iraq and the Establishment of a Society Ordained in Liberty Demands a Genuine Adaptation and Re-adaptation, Burying the Alteration of the Governing Executives.

Pupique and his Discontents

2005-02-20T15:42:00.000-08:00

What the legalization of gay marriages will do to heterosexuality--

Nihilization Of Tomorrow's Heterosexuality Induced by Nuptials Of Gays.

Who will ultimately benefit from Howard Deans ascension to the Democratic National Committee Chair--

Restive Electoral Public United in the Basic Liberal Instinct to Change America's National Scene.

Family Feud: Jew vs. Arab

2005-02-16T10:49:00.000-08:00

When the Talking Heads say "Cycle of Violence," whom do they blame?

Objectively, Nobody's Liable. Yes, It is Solely the Reactivity of Antagonism Emanating from the Logic of Inter-factorial Symmetry.

Errorism: Mainstream Media

2005-02-16T10:47:00.000-08:00

TELEVISION NEWS—

Worldly Events As Portrayed Objectively by News Shows Offering the Finest, Most Accurately Stated, Scholarly Discussion of the Issues of Significance and Topics of Relevance to an Audience Captivated by These Insightfully Observant Newscasters.

(=WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION)

Mr. Rumsfeld's Jihad

2005-02-13T15:46:00.000-08:00

Is Saddam Alive (2003)?

The Whereabouts, Even the Existence, of the Keenly Evil and Notorious Dictator is an Authentically and Truly Befuddling Enigma, Requiring a Necessary, Immediately Effected Solution.

Statements issued by the Iraqi Information Minister (2003)--

Announcements Communicated by the Information Director Trying to Represent with Integrity the Positions and Policies of the Iraqi National Government.

We know the war's been a success when we see the first--

Mideastern, Constitutionally Defined, Operant Nation Allowing a Liberal Democratic Society.

Reconstruction of Post-War Iraq—

Critical Humanitarian and Economically Administered Policies Expressly Required for the Generation of Autonomic Statehood of the People of the Republic of Iraq, Currently Emerging from Saddam’s Autocratically Tyrannical Politically Ultra-oppressive, Militaristic Police State.

R.E.V.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.

2005-02-11T11:21:00.000-08:00

No, this book is not about religion, Well, actually it is about religion; it's also about industrial pollution, rednecks, Paramus, NJ, boogers, morons, soldiers, rookie proctologists and their rookie errors, rock concerts, Skinnerism, the former Soviet Union, genitals (there' s a lot about genitals), old geezers (and their genitals), toilet seats, cloning, Picasso, sitcoms, Peoria, prisons, universities, acne, fish hell, fish heaven, outhouses, rented bowling shoes, post-modernism, yellow snow, dating, Milt Pupique sunbathing, goats, cloning, Elvis, the ozone layer and the lack therof, yellow snow, attorneys, public pools, Pittsburgh, pigeons, bosses, cats, junior executives, Satan, mechanics, pornography, divorce, sexual experimentation, hubris, what's in a belfry, a depraved new world, lemmings, toupees, eating very old meat , caffeine, modern prayer, guns, computers, wrestling, Reality, fancy bovine,dinners,
motels, greed, goats, lisps, road rage, diapers, sex education, the Bronx, chickens and their cosmic telos, Yale University, sexual harassment, dentists, hubris, Texas culture, mailmen, Skinnerism, cholesterol, boogers, zoos, the source of all illness, the Y chromosome, redneck handkerchiefs, and hundreds of other tiny and not-so-tiny aspects of our lives, all presented as ACROSTICDOUBLESPEAK.

The Nambient vs. the Non-Nambient: 2004 Presidential Elections

2005-02-07T17:52:00.000-08:00

Accidentally Removing the “Do Not Remove” Labels from Mattress…While in Texas –

Humorously Archaic Restriction Derived from a

Trifling Inconsequentiality of a Meaningless Effect.

(= HARD TIME)

Washington D.C. –

The Site of Congress, the Awe-inspiring Nucleus of Democracy and American Life.

(=SCANDAL)

Government –

Basic Institutional, Governmental/

Bureaucratic, Regulatory Organization of a Two-party, Hierarchical Establishmentary Regime.

(=BIG BROTHER)

The Essence of the Republican Party –

Republican Ideology is Characterized by Humanity

Working for Humanity, Irrespective of the Type of Ethnic, Social or

Racial Inheritance, Cultural Heritage,

Wealth, Homosexually-Involved Tendencies or Economic Status.

(=RICH WHITES, RICH WHITES)

The Democratic Ideology—A Statement-

The Stated Platform Expounded by the Nation’s Democrats is that

Society Prioritize the Elimination of our Nation’s Disgrace-

Soul-wrenching Poverty, as the Establishment of Non-Discriminatory

Social Programs is Essential for the Normalization and Development of the

Socio-economic Potential of the Economically Non-productive, to the Degree that

Spiral of Poverty that Exists Nationally be Decelerated.

(=SPEND, SPEND, SPEND, SPEND, SPEND, SPEND)

Teresa Heinz—

A Notably Outspoken Woman who

Speaks Her Own Views and Expresses

Ideas and Thoughts in a

Natural and Open-minded Way,

She Honorably Objectifies the Very Essence of

Ideological Tact,

Necessary for the Optimal Working of a

System that Historically and Operatively Validates the Exchange of

Ideas and Thoughts.

(=NOW SHOVE IT)

The President of These United States of America, 1992-2000 –

The President is the Executive of the National Interests of State,

a Person Embodying the Necessary Insightfulness and Spirit of

Patriotism to Energize the Nation, individually Serving by

Personal Example to this Nation and its Institutions of State.

(=PENIS, PENIS, PENIS, PENIS)

A Message From the White House to All Voters—

“Regardless of Existent Prejudice or Underlying Bias, it is Literally Imperative and Categorically and Absolutely Necessarily

Required for Every Person, Under the Banner of Liberty, to Involve His/her Conscious in America’s National and

Regional Elections, a Privilege Universally Bestowed and Legally Instituted in the Constitution of the American Nation.”

(=REPUBLICAN, REPUBLICAN, REPUBLICAN)

Meet Milt

2005-02-07T17:45:00.000-08:00

Pupique Expresses a Real Facility for the Exposition of the Comic. Through his Lofty, Yet Undoubtedly Notoriously Base Approach to Language the Author has Notably Cast the Extant Doublespeak into a Creative and Humorously Acrostic Pattern.